thoughts

Today I went to visit the Edgewood Center, the mission statement of which runs like this:
"Edgewood helps children and families overcome some of life's toughest challenges like abuse, neglect, mental illness, and family crisis."
In a couple of weeks May May and I are going to start our 6-week community clowning component.  We're gonna go spend an hour with Edgewood kids every Sunday, for about an hour.  They come from the hardest environments.  And as far as I'm concerned as of today; they are still beautiful angels.
On our visit we met the responsible and liaison person for Circus Center.  He was an interesting fellow of course, for his affect and personality were quite unique, somewhat flat though one can tell he had forged a shell to protect himself in doing the work he does.
He showed around the propriety.  The whole place is architecturally quite pleasing, with its pink buildings and its modern cottages - as they are called.  Our host took us around and introduced us to a few kids that were playing outside.  (Today was a rare sunny afternoon in the Sunset District.  The pacific ocean was grandiose, as always.)  I was fascinated by our guide's interactions with the kids.  It's one thing to be vaguely told about the severity and types of emotional, sexual, physical (et cetera) traumas these young humans beings have had to endure.  How should we relate with them?  How can we?  We don't know shit.  We can imagine.  Some of us (functional adults who want "to help") have experienced some form of trauma ourselves,; some of us are wounded healers indeed.
This experience is already "boulversante" (upsetting) and we haven't started yet.
And I think of Phoenix and her path.  I think of the work she has been doing, of he job she's scored in the East Bay.  I think of how consuming it is.
And I understand why somebody would have such zeal in this crusade.  Children are angels.  
It saddens me so much.  I hurts and angers me so much.