Ex-static Tanz!

I feel that something has shifted a little bit in me.
But first of all, I would like to make a commitment, that no matter how personal and idiosyncratic my writings might be, I will strive to connect it with a larger referential realm, that is, explicitly.  For I know the many underlying principles that justify my shameless sharing of such individual existential matters.  Underneath, I know we are all so similar.  Yet, I do think I should perhaps make an effort of laying out some of the assumptions and implicit connections I make.  I want my writing to be interesting to you.  I hope it can feed your soul.
Now, that's said.

As I was saying, I dare saying that I noticed something shifted a little bit.  I know it is all so cyclical.  It could, and it will fluctuate again in the near future.  But for now, it is most welcome.. this subtle sense of... inspiration.
I had been feeling stuck, purposeless, thus useless, for a moment there.  I had let thoughts of the future impede my presence in this experience: I am a free traveller.  Yes, I am impatient, rather "antsy" (yes, ants) to find my place in society.  The problem(s) is .. in most of the words that constitute this last sentence!  Impatient: is it really a question of time?
I am not an ant.
If time is relative, then so is "place".  This is the crux of the transformation I wish to be take part in.
Society: such a limited, also relative, fundamentally ever-"evolving", concept.  The world I live in is not what it was a generation ago.  Societies do exist; anthropologists will concur.  Yet the world I was born into is of a different era.  Being a citizen of the world is a challenging role.  How can I be part of one society?  What about humanity?  What about ecology?

Yesterday I invited a new acquaintance to join me and explore Berlin's Ecstatic Dance evening.  Those of you living in the Bay Area will know what I am talking about.  Those of you who have never heard of "Ecstatic Dance" should know.  I would call it a movement, because it is.  And the word is perfect!  At ecstatic dance events, people gather "under one DJ" and simply, freely... move.  There are very few guidelines (I tend to use the term "rules", but I should notice that.):
1) no talking on the dance floor;
2) nothing is too weird.. dance however you want.  It is suggested that one keep moving throughout the whole set (yesterday, it was two hours), however  "small" that dancing might look.  This is specifically the way one might discover spaces of transformation, of emergence, of flux in the energy of their being.
3) there is no alcohol.  It is not a club.  Rather, it is a gathering of conscious movers.  This is truly revolutionary given the fact that so many of us - in the West - resort to different "psycho-active substances" to lubricate social interactions; and especially such intimate and vulnerable social situation as where/when one is expected/allowed to dance.
Ecstatic dance could be classified as a "hippy" movement.  Call it so.  It's fine by me.

Camille is a twenty year-young carpenter I recently met at a Cabaret-Circus I attended.  He drove his (cara)van from Switzerland to Berlin and found work at the Circus.  He doesn't speak a word of German, nor of English.  The night we met, he walked up to me with a certain thirst and need; "Tu parles francais?!  Tu restes longtemps a Berlin?"  We had a brief conversation.  He shared that he was growing increasingly interested in dance and expression, but had no experience.
So I invited him to join me.  Because I needed to dance.  And I also desperately needed some form of friendship connection with someone.  Berlin-time has been challenging on those terms.  How does one relate authentically in the midst of such "transience"?  (Note how the word "transience" contains the two parts: trans- and science; as in "In-between knowing".)
Camille had no idea what he was getting himself into.  He was shy and a little bit scared, I'd say, but he is the type of person to thrive on that, I found out.  So he agreed to meet me outside the premises last side, and we paid our ten Euros to participate in Berlin's event.
The organizers explained to us how the session who go: the DJ plays a musical set which is designed like a wave.  The music begins smoothly and gently, until gradually the energy/rhythm accelerates and it peaks for a time, before the wave brings us back to rest.  There is a warming up into the heat.  There is a chance to journey and come back.
Camille took a time to warm up.  he needed to sit at the periphery of the dance floor and observe, while most people had begun stretching and moving, solo or in silent pairs.
An hour later, he was bouncing around on the floor within the frenzy of the group.  We used our voices, and we closed our fists, and we crawled and bent and jumped.
It felt so good.
Like being in church again.  Or home.

At the outset of ... the set, I laid down on my back in that most difficult yoga pose (savasana- corpse pose). The last song played was a remix of some indian mantra dedicated to Lord Ganesha.  Perhaps it was RamDas or something.  I began chanting out loud, somehow allowing myself that most "new agy" behavior.  I couldn't care what others might think; chanting to Ganesha was too appropriate for me to pass on the opportunity.  So I laid down, and sang... until tears gently came rolling down my face.
I miss San Francisco!
How I miss San Francisco!  For it was there that my spiritual self first found validation and support.  It was there that I could gaze into another human being's eyes and share in the known presence of something so vibrant and inexplicable in each one of us.
And I want that in my life.  I will that.

Camille said he had envisioned something just like that... "Je n'ai pas les mots... c'est... magnifique!"
We sat and shared a coconut after the dance.  We shared a bit of our stories.  He, a carpenter, is enthusiastic and carefree.  I have felt a bit of the opposite mood lately.  I have wondered about "my trade" and about mobility and idealism.  He, reminded me that the many options around us are blessings.  He helped me believe in this anew.
Perhaps I could go WOOFing for a little when my tourist visa expires.  I don't have to go back.  Except for family and friends, there is nothing urgently awaiting me in Quebec.  It'll be winter.  What's a few more months of being separated from my loved ones?
Perhaps it is not about "society", but about "culture", agriculture... permaculture!

Berlin Wall

I have a lot going on at the moment.  I have many adventures lining up in the next few weeks:
- I am moving from the Dunckerstrasse apartment tomorrow afternoon.  I'll be couch surfing with new people, in a new neighborhood.
- Then, there's my escapade to the country side anarchist house/land I have planned for October 31st.
- Following that, a quick trip to Weimar, Leipzig, and Röcken.  Then, a few last days in Berlin and HE's last show at Silver Future,
- before I pack up my belongings and head to Prague for a few days.
- And finally, after that.. there's a blank canvas...
well, somewhat blank...  Gestation is not non-being.

This little guy is all over Prenzlauerberg!

and he makes me smile, every time!