8e Feu: je me souviens.

Hier soir, j'ai écouté un excellent documentaire, à la fois très divertissant et instructif.

8e Feu: Les autochtones et le Canada
(Il y a quatre épisodes, j'en suis au milieu du deuxième)

Saviez-vous que les autochtones canadiens représentent le plus haut taux croissance démocratique au Canada?  Saviez-vous que plus de 50% des autochtones vivent en ville, et que la moitié d'entres eux ont moins de 25 ans?

Pourquoi y a-t-il deux fois plus de jeunes autochtones que de blancs qui vivent sous le seuil de la pauvreté?  Pourquoi se suicident-ils à chaque semaine?  Pourquoi tant de problèmes de dépendances, et de violence conjugale?



Encore une fois, il est difficile de se pencher sur ces questions sans se buter à la ''culpabilité blanche''.  Le concept (''white guilt'') est généralement utilisé dans le contexte de l'histoire et des répercussions de l'esclavage aux États-Unis, mais il peut tout aussi bien être appliqué à la réalité Canadienne et Québécoise.



En fait, c'est peut-être encore plus complexe lorsqu'un peuple se sent déjà victimisé, comme le sont souvent les Québécois francophones.  Comment peut-on être coupables lorsque nous avons nous mêmes été victimes des Anglais?  Tel est le narratif, l'histoire qu'on se raconte.
Il est vrai que la couronne Britannique a prit le pouvoir sur les terres des colons de la Nouvelle-France et que c'est elle qui a conçu la Loi sur les Indiens.
Mais encore.  Aujourd'hui, ce sont autant d'anglophones que de francophones qui sont portés à nier la discrimination systémique qui afflige les nations autochtones.
Qui est le plus victime?  Il serait temps qu'on révise toute cette histoire et qu'on se donne l'opportunité de regarder de l'avant et de célébrer les différentes cultures qui constituent notre pays.  Culturellement, les Québécois francophones ont besoin de s'auto-déterminer au de toujours se définir par l'antagonisme et rce sentiment de victimisation.  Les autochtones aussi ont besoin de s'auto-déterminer... seulement jusqu'à présent on ne leurs a pas beaucoup donné la chance.

Personne n'aime baigner dans la culpabilité.  C'est plus facile d'éviter et de nier, de couper court en se référant aux stéréotypes: ''Les Amérindiens sont des lâches, des alcooliques, et des joueurs compulsifs, etc.''  (Saviez-vous que le jeu de hasard faisait autrefois partie d'un contexte sacré?)  ''Ils n'ont pas à se plaindre! Ils ne paient même pas de taxes!''

Faux.

Pour qu'une personne autochtone n'ait pas à payer d'impôt ou de taxes, elle doit résider et travailler dans la réserve.  Est-ce inutile de préciser qu'il n'y a pas beaucoup de boulots offerts dans les réserves?  Donc, la vérité c'est qu'au moins la moitié des autochtones canadiens paient les mêmes taxes que tout le monde.  Et oui, ils paient également leur comptes d'Hydro-Québec.

D'autres feront plutôt comme moi, qui ai tendance à romancer et idéaliser.  ''Les Amérindiens n'étaient-ils pas les experts du développement durable?''  D'autres encore s'approprieront la culture et les pratiques spirituelles des peuples autochtones sans même avoir la décence de demander la bénédiction de ceux-ci.  Cette question (i.e. l'appropriation culturelle) en est une autre que je trouve assez complexe.  J'aimerais beaucoup en discuter avec les principaux concernés.

Bref, il y a des choses dont on doit parler.  Pour le l'ensemble des habitant du territoire canadien puisse vivre sainement, il faut que tout le monde prenne part au débat.  Il faut qu'on s'écoute et qu'on se donne le temps et l'espace pour vivre et partager les émotions et les questions qui nous habitent.

Visioner ce documentaire est un bon point de départ et c'est pourquoi j'en fais la promotion:

8e Feu: Les autochtones et le Canada

Québec: je me souviens.  Mais de quoi?  Et dans quel but?

Situating the Species

Someone recently told me, ''Humans are animals, and as such we are meant to relate with our immediate environment through our senses, through our body.'' (So far, so good.)  Then she added, ''It's not normal, it's not healthy, for us to be bombarded with information about the state of the global economy, etc.  It's too much stress, and it brings us way up in the mind...''

This was a response to me bringing up that I would like to create space for people, to really feel the depth of emotion they feel when they ponder the current crisis.  It's an economical and ecological crisis.  (It is an ecocrisis.)  I partially agree with that comment, although from an evolutionary perspective, I am resistant to this idea that ''we were not supposed to''.

I think it was meant to be this way... and that we're coming full circle in order to embark on a new leg of our journey.

Consciousness has morphed tremendously since the advent of our homo sapiens ancestors.  The evolution of consciousness is a reality.  Look carefully and you'll see the parallels between developmental psychology and the growth of humans society!  From undifferentiation to rebellion to integration, it's a never ending process that everyone experiences.

One aspect of this is how humans have pushed technological innovations (through their imagination first, which is beyond the five sense), from the mastery of fire and the creation of the wheel, to the building of steam engines, nuclear reactors, and global positioning systems.  Each new discovery has transformed the fabric of society.  Each new invention has transformed the relationship of humans within time and space and amongst themselves.  Today we are finally remembering the fundamental fact of our interconnectedness with the entire world.  Today, we can experience more empathy for the Other. A marvelous book on the connection between the advances of technology and the grown of empathy is called The Empathic Civilization (2009), by Jeremy Rifkin.

It couldn't have been any other way.  We are social animals, who have created beyond themselves, projected ahead of time through our minds eyes.  We have imagined.  We have dreamed.  We have created.

And we've migrated and colonized, and relocalized.  Today we urbanites find ourselves uprooted, piled up in offices and lined up in subterranean mazes.
We get to see the insides of the matrix we live in.  Roads, tubes, neurotransmitters and all.

EarthRise

Complex systems are difficult to behold and comprehend.  That's why our species had to compartmentalize, first, throughout the ''mental'' (to use Jean Gebser's terminology) era.  We had to analyze, to understand, to control... to divide and conquer.  The prerogative of a great deal of ''methodological'' thinking, especially since the Enlightenment.
But the problem is that we can't and should not conquer nature, because wildness is the source of our creativity.  Wildness is necessary to our survival.

Yet it's true; beholding the present situation is overwhelming.  What can I do, now that I know the statistics: in 2010, it's an estimate of 925 million people that were undernourished, and this  in spite of the fact that, ''World agriculture produces 17 percent more calories per person today than it did 30 years ago, despite a 70 percent population increase''?   

What am I to do?

I think about... ecology, because that's how I've come to look at politics, spirituality, psychology... even the arts.  It's all interconnected.

Witnessing this incredible web of connections and relations... It humbles me, and it makes me so much greater than myself, all at the same time!

This being said, the systematic study of ecology, as a science, is a relatively new :

Ecology is a sub-discipline of biology, the study of life. The word "ecology" ("Ökologie") was coined in 1866 by the German scientist Ernst Haeckel (1834–1919). (wikipedia)

The greek word ''Öko'' means ''house, which means that ecology is the ''science of the house''.

It was 1968 - only 44 years ago - when the astronauts of Apollo 8 took the famous Earth Rise photograph (above) and for the first time gifted humankind with a new perspective of our home, as seen from outside.

Two generations ago, they'd never seen a picture of the Earth taken from space!  Just ponder that.

Ecology is a new field.  It's an ongoing observation of the all the complex and intertwined relationships that make up this web we call Life.  Am I to be derogatorily labelled ''hippie'' for the simple fact that I actually understand the significance of all of this? 

Yes, I care about the environment I live in.  Yes, I get emotional when I look at this mess we've created for ourselves.  It makes me wanna know the next room's occupants, my neighbors.  It makes me wanna learn their language so I can have a conversation with them around the table.

And it makes me want to localize myself and re-awaken to my five senses and my body's wisdom.  It makes me want to grow and prepare the food I eat, instead of relying on chemical fertilizers and gas guzzling transportation and plastic wrappings.  

I want to hold and celebrate the sublime immensity and of the matrix.  I want to send my roots down so that I can bear my fruits, in time.  That's what I mean by coming full circle.  We don't need to roam anymore.  We don't need to hurry either.  We have each other plus myriads of other living friends to get to know better.  Here, now.

A Miroir Flashmob in Montréal!! Exeko..

I mentioned Exeko in a recent post.  Exeko is a wonderful non-profit organization based in Montréal, which I actually heard about a few years ago, back when I lived in San Francisco. Mi amiga Lara is a good friend of the co-founder, and she often told me about how amazing a project it is.

''Canadian Food''
On the door, a note: ''We are retiring.  Thank you
to all our customers duing all these years.''
(paraphrased)

So you can imagine how much I flipped out when I found out they had a job opening.  
I read the job description for a ''chargée des communications'' position, and I decided I would apply regardless of the fact that I don't have the exact qualifications.  I knew I could do it; I would learn the ropes quickly.  I write, I communicate, I relate, I create... I can learn the rest. 
I could learn the specifics of it, the right formats and the rules of the communiqué, the press conference, the bulletin... I could deepen my mastery of social medias, depict a good image of the organization.  I could do it.
I crafted several drafts of that damn cover letter... trying to convey... how much I have to work with them.  
I hoped I could show how motivated (I don't like this word, actually.  It sounds euphemistic to me) and competent I am... so I can at least get through to the next level of ''the game'' and get that prized interview.. 


And ... I got a call!


Turns out there is actually no opening for the comm. position (?!) , but I was invited to meet the famous Nadia next week.  She said we should talk about other opportunities they might have  for me!

The Dragonfly is a symbol of Transformation...

I will not say more for now, because I don't know much more that than.  Like we say in French: ''you can't sell the skin of the bear before you kill the bear.'' 


What I know, is that their motto is:

Inclusion through innovation in culture and education  

Yeah, that could mean anything.  But in this case it means something very special.  It means a visionary team working for ''the empowerment and social inclusion of underprivileged (and marginalized) populations, i.e. in jails, in indigenous communities, with intellectually disabled (I'm not fond of this word either) people, homeless people, etc.

I am meant for this job.  I feel like I've wanted to do this since I was twelve years old.  Inclusion through innovation in culture and education... 

Now.  People of Montréal, check this out:

On Saturday the 25th, Exeko takes advantage of Montréal en Lumière and of La Nuits Blanche to create A FLASHMOB downtown and throw some light on the issue of Inclusion. 

So... Come and be part of a most creative and poetic gesture for social change:

Exeko - le blog officiel: Flashmob Midi2 Montréal : confirmation de l'heure ...: Une foule éclair pour une bonne cause? Rejoignez tout de suite le mouvement et participez à un Flashmob pour l’inclusion! Rendez-vous...

----

Montréal is a hot bed of activism!

Guerilla Theater on VDay
 -not veterans Day, rather an opposite-

The M.O.U.S.T.A.C.H.E collective offers a spontaneous course
on feminine sexual pleasure for the occasion of
Valentine's Day.


Oh!  Magda is delighted!

Flat Broke MTL: Montréal en Lumière: free shows from Miracle Fortr...

Flat Broke MTL: Montréal en Lumière: free shows from Miracle Fortr...: By now, lovers of free shit should know that the Montréal en Lumière festival is taking over the city with it's Nuit Blanche coming up on ...

Bios-que-faire?

Psychic tension.  Tension psychique.
I've been offered a job... in a wonderful independent bookstore!  Biosfaire offers books on everything from permaculture to Buddhism, to anthroposophy, holistic health, and transpersonal psychology, to community living, consciousness studies, and super foods...

I had walked in there out of curiosity, and did something I never quite dare to do by asking, ''Do you guys happen to have a job opening?''
''Well yes, actually, in March.  You can give us your résumé.''
So I did.  I printed the appropriate version and walked over there (It's 10 minutes from where I live right now, and it'll be a ten minute bike ride once I move to my new place ... and get a bike) to find the owner doing her inventories.
''I studied Philosophy, Cosmology, and Consciousness'', I said, handing my résumé.  ''So your place pretty much feels like home!''
''Where did you study that?'' she asked.
''In San Francisco.  I just returned.''

She called me about a week later, that is, a few days ago.  ''Honestly,'' she told me, ''you are over qualified for this retail and service job... However, I do think you would have a good time working with us.''
I do too.  The problem is that it doesn't pay anything.  I mean, 16$/hour at a community center is already quite basic... But this.. is not even close to that.

I don't know what to do.
I just turned in an application for a position with the most amazing Non-Profit organization, called Exeko.  There, I'd get to use words, and symbols, as well as my social skills (I'd work in communications), in order to represent and promote artistic, cultural, and educational programs which are taking place with indigenous, incarcerated, and mentally disabled populations!  I mean, talk about an integration of my interests!
But what if I don't get it?

Maybe working in the hub of holistic health would be just as perfect...
I'd get to smell everything that's being published (oh! the scent of a freshly-printed book!), I'd certainly get to discuss eco-psychology, power of intention, and planetary wisdom with clients; I'd be able to speak that language on a day-to-day basis.  I'd be surrounded by the work of those I emulate.  I'd be inspired... and-or overwhelmed.
I was just telling a friend about feeling overwhelmed when I'm in a bookstore sometimes.  I want to read them all, and comment on them all.      I want to write them.  (But not all).

I was just telling another friend, that regardless of my stance against capitalism and consumerism I actually want to be financially comfortable.  I don't know exactly how that's done.  I guess the more you have and the more you fear of losing it anyway.  And what's being ''comfortable'' ?  I've lived with the premise that keeping my needs in check is a good start.  Do not succumb to the consumerisssss serpent.  Do not get fooled by advertisement.  So many get into debt trying to fulfill an emotional gap with stuff.  I just have to make sure I don't do that.  I just have to make sure I spend my money on what really matters...

But. 9, 75$ for an hour?

Acting out of fear? (of not finding something else)
Or acting out of love? (I've always dreamed of working in a library... and this is the best independent library in town!)

What do to?

Goodbye studio, Hello Community

I love my music.  I love that I am spending this tuesday afternoon dancing in my very own studio... Sun shining through the windows, and a wooden floor to die for.

I should stop saying that I can't dance.  Sure I feel pain in my foot, but I just have to be careful, right?  I can't quite jump or bounce, but hell I can dance!  

In fact, I dance pretty much everyday.  I do it on the streets, waiting for the bus or the métro sometimes... I do it in my head most of the time.

The apartment has been emptied of its furniture.
The funny thing is that everyone seems to worry about the quality of my life. ''You mean, you have nothing?''
''Are you kidding me?! I'm having a blast!''
They know me, so they know it's true...
I took a walk today and noticed that there is at least seven or eight dance and yoga (often combined) studios lined up on Mont-Royal between St-Laurent and Christophe-Colomb!
And I got my very own.  Blessed!

I just returned from a 24h trip in Québec city.  This time around it was different, I mean... in a ''new'' way.  As if I was seeing it with completely different eyes now that I ''live'' in Montréal.  I had never had this impression before.  Of course, that's because I'd never had my own ''chez moi'' here.

Landscape, Via Rail between Québec and Montréal.
And it makes me wonder...

I'm almost there.  ''Chez moi'', I mean.
Though it's true, I'm also in the process of defining it for myself.  Gathering thoughts and visions, setting intentions, trying things on.

I have found a new place to live.  I'll be moving in in the next several days.
The place is everything I've been setting myself up to manifest... but I'm nervous now.
I've been living the dream life: all this space, and this time, to do my own thing and be with myself.  Abundant space and time!
I am now moving in with more or less 13 people.  Adieu spontaneous butoh jam sessions, crawling on the floor like a wild animal and pirouetting like a ballerina.. Adieu clean and gigantic kitchen.  ''Things they come, and things they go...''
At my new place, we get bulk food and cook communally.  We also subscribe to a Community-Supported Agriculture program:

(A CSA consists of a community of individuals who pledge support to a farming operation where the growers and consumers share the risks and benefits of food production. wikipédia)  

 And yes!  Like me they faithfully practice composting as well!  I mean, isn't this pretty much what I've been talking about for months? (The only exception is the lack of a backyard garden, which is so central to the little utopian scheme I've been playing with in my head).  But!!! If I take the lead on it, we could grow our own lettuce in a window like that vidéo I saw on YouTube!
I gotta say.  It's a reasonable price, but the room is rather small...and it has no windows.  It has a skylight but it's quite dirty up there.  I wonder if I could get the landlord to let me go clean it...
I'm anxious.
Another transition baby!  Bring it on!

clown is on!

Last night was my very first clown performance in Montréal! You know how they say that individualization and actualization of your truest self is often much harder to accomplish when you're amongst your parents and your people?  You know that, right?  I mean, that's why we travel the world.  It's not only to discover other cultures, it's also very much a quest to meet other, deeper parts of our self.



Hence, after five years of building a relationship to my artistic self in San Franciso, there I finally was: Café Co-op L'Artère, 8h30pm, on a stage in front of a hundred-plus beautiful people, all of them eager to see the show... ''Radical Vulvas: a night of performance art, with open discussion on gender, identity, and feminism.''

The event was put together by the ReBELLEs Collective, a pan-Canadian feminist collective, with a subgroup in Montreal.  Significant fact: a lot of the organizers happen to be in the Theater and Development program at Concordia, which I had sort of applied to last year.
Let's face it, it was the perfect setting for a re-birthing of sorts.
I had gone shopping for the occasion: cheap make-up, pink g-string, hair extension, none of these items being worth more than a buck.  This clown was goin' to make her/himself pret-ty!  This wasn't the grotesque and absurdly confident Magda, it was a new clown... the eager one, the auguste, the one who doesn't talk.

Of course, I can easily list a lot of things I would want to do differently.  First of all: SLOW THE F*%K DOWN.  Second: SLOW THE F%$K DOWN.  Thirdly: breathe more, and take your time a bit more.  In other words: slow down.  It's a muscle, an acquired skill.  It takes a lot of practice.
On the other hand, I think I'm pretty natural at playing with audience members.  This whole act was half improvisation and half technical.  Getting myself to rehearse was a bit hard at first, but once I acquired the props and started to play a bit, the storyline sort of drew itself organically.  It's easy to look foolish when I try to put make-up on!
I guess that my favorite aspect of the process is how I collaged two acts together, incorporating my classic 'heart piece' as the second portion of the act.  When I asked, a few people said their favorite part was when I ''was hanging from my heart''.  Oh! The power of imagery... I love it!!

Now I feel super inspired.  And I want to do more.  I have tons of ideas for more performances.  Some in clowns, sure, but definitely some other stuff too.

Needless to say: Montréal is growing on me :)

Permaculture in Lebanon!

I found an answer to a question I asked in an earlier post I had titled Arab Winter in Montréal.  There IS permaculture in the Middle East!  How do I know?  Because there is a Facebook page, of course.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Permaculture-Lebanon/242823612458499


A little research tells me there's even more!  There is permaculture in Palestine, I found out through a blog called Land and People: http://landandpeople.blogspot.com/2009/04/permaculture-as-necessity-not-choice-in.html.

Tangently, but relatedly enough, I just watched a video of Joanna Macy, who is a leader.  I never got the chance to see her in person, but her work, and especially the class she teaches through CIIS called The Great Turning, which she teaches through CIIS, has inspired a great deal of my PCC colleagues.  A number of them say she changed her life.
So please have a taste:

Life is good.
I'm living by myself in a big empty apartment... meaning I have my own dance and yoga studio.  Space!
Soon I'll be moving in to live with six people (12, on two floors, to be more precise.)  That's what I've been talking about for so long: community living.
I am excited.  I am anxious.  I'm a bit scared.
I'm... trepidatious :)
And adventures keep unfolding...

May yours be blessed as well, my sisters and brothers!

L'Empereur sans emploi

Pourquoi ce poème?
En numérologie mon chiffre est le 4.  Dans le Tarot, donc, l'arcane représentant mon chemin de vie, c'est l'Empereur.  Et j'ai eu envie de réaffirmer cette énergie qui vit en moi et qui cherche à s'actualiser.


Depuis la fin de mes études à CIIS et ma découverte du clown, j'ai beaucoup ''travaillé avec'' (i.e. ''méditer sur'') l'archétype du Mat, qui est aussi appelé Le Fou.  Pour dire vrai, je me suis plutôt totalement amouraché de cette énergie, de cet espace entre la fin et le commencement, entre le divin et le commun, entre la sagesse et l'innocence.  Je m'y suis identifiée à ce fou, à ce médium entre l'inconscience et le conscient.  Je me gardais en équilibre entre deux pays, entre deux langues; je me suis dit que c'est le lot du Trickster d'être toujours à la croisée des chemins.  J'ai même considéré vagabonder pour toujours, m'allier au vent pour aller toucher les coeurs de toutes les nations et disséminer cet esprit de potentialité, du Changement inhérent à tout, et de l'éternel moment présent qui nous invite sans cesse à ré-évaluer notre position, notre identité.  Oui, j'ai beaucoup travaillé avec Le Mat au cours des dernières années...

Mais si je suis revenue à Montréal, c'est pour faire honneur au Cycle des choses.  Parce qu'en moi une voix appelle à la maturité, à un besoin d'enracinement et d'appartenance à une collectivité.


''Connais-toi toi-même'' disaient-ils, et bien je peux dire que ma maîtrise m'aura permise de bien répondre à cette injonction.

Maintenant, j'ai envie d'accepter toute l'ampleur de mes capacités et de ma personnalité.  Je veux inspirer, oui, mais je crois qu'il est possible d'aller plus loin.  Je veux vous voir vous rassembler et vous mobiliser.
Je crois toujours en un monde idéal dans lequel nous n'aurions pas besoin de chefs.  Nous ne suivrions pas, nous ne mènerions pas.  Nous serions chacune et chacun notre propre chef, notre propre autorité.  Nous serions Un avec le Tao...
Or nous n'en sommes pas tout à fait là.

J'ai donc envie de me donner le droit d'être la leader que je suis.  C'est une chose de critiquer les dirigeants de nos sociétés, c'est tout autre chose de prendre ses responsabilités et de réellement travailler pour l'amélioration du bien-être d'une collectivité (et de la biodiversité).
J'ai beaucoup à dire.  Je suis impatiente de faire.  Et bien sur, je continuerai d'être, et de devenir...


Ça ne se fait pas du jour au lendemain, ériger les piliers d'un nouveau temple.  Ça prend une discipline et une endurance particulière.  Et justement, j'ai envie de me concentrer sur ces qualités.. pour qu'on bâtisse, pierre par pierre, ensemble.  Parce que je ne parle certainement pas de faire cela toute seule!  Oh que non! Je meurs d'envie de me joindre à tous les autres empereurs d'ici et d'ailleurs, pour lier nos forces et comparer nos visions, pour grandir tous ensembles, pour avancer ensemble vers un avenir plus sain.

On me demande sans cesse, ''quel genre de travail cherches-tu?''  À chaque fois, c'est le même feeling un peu désabusé.  ''Euh... je suis ouverte,'' je leur dis, ''J'aimerais travailler en associatif, en communautaire, en relation d'aide, en organisationnel ou événementiel, dans les arts et la culture... en rédaction...'' je leur dis,  ''J'écris beaucoup.''
J'ai l'air perdue, indécise, imprécise.  Et pourtant!

Je n'ai pas de titre officiel;  je n'ai pas de réponse prêt-à-porter, i.e. Je n'ai pas de diplôme en ''relation industrielle'' ou en ''travail social''.  J'ai fait mes études sur la condition humaine, sur l'organisation sociale, sur le règne psychospirituel qui est sous-jacent à tous nos comportements.

Je comprends bien que ce soit difficile d'entrer sur la ''scène professionnelle''.  Or je viens de réaliser un truc; si les emplois pour lesquels j'ai postulé jusqu'à présent sont vraisemblablement un peu divergents et variés, ils se rejoignent tous sur un point: ce sont des postes demandant un certain leadership.
C'est pour ça qu'ils m'allument ces boulots.  Le comment, less détails techniques, ça s'apprend.  Je suis assez rigoureuse et débrouillarde pour cela.   Par contre, je dirais qu'en toute humilité, je possède naturellement la capacité de toucher le coeur et les esprits des gens, d'inciter l'espoir, la confiance, et la responsabilisation.

Donnez-moi juste une chance de relever le défi...

Ève, live from her saturn return ;)

L'Empereur (poème de Jodorowsky

Poème d'Alejandro Jodorowsky, extrait du libre Le Chant du Tarot 
(traduit de l'espagnol aux éditions Le Relié)


Commentaires à suivre dans un prochain blogue...

L'Empereur (4)

Ce n'est pas moi qui soumis à l'horreur du vide
fuirais le lieu véritable sur les traces d'un rêve devenu patrie.

Mon présent n'est pas la prolongation d'un hier inacceptable,
l'avenir ne me tombe pas sur la nuque comme un store métallique
et toutes les ombres du monde ne peuvent me dévorer.

Du navire des ténèbres je suis la clairvoyante figure de proue,
l'abeille dorée qui guette sous chaque lettre, la clé qui ouvre les dimensions scellées
l'ouvrier qui construit un manoir infini, l'oeil qui palpite au ventre du hasard

Comme le vol héroïque d'un aigle blessé, je vais plus loin que là où cessent les mots.
Entre accords, nuances et structures, je permets que l'illusion accède à la beauté,
j'octroie un projet aux décombres, je convaincs le chaos d'accoucher d'un ordre,
j'accepte d'être le cri d'espoir que poussent les pierres.

Ni le scorpion des jugements ni le cobra des doutes ne peuvent me séduire.
L'important n'est pas un déguisement du banal, le nécessaire n'est pas un farce du hasard,
ce qui dure n'est pas un soupir de l'éphémère, la vérité n,est pas un poisson aveugle dans l'océan sans fin...
Qui ignore les menaces de la lune et humblement accepte ma présence
prend possession de l'épée qui resplendit dans les entrailles de l'âme.

Chant secret des os dans la fragilité des traces,
pilier de marbre vif parme le labyrinthe létal du lierre,
montagne qui donne un sens au vol fugace des luciole,
refuge pour le marcheur qui avance les pieds en sang
Comment ne pas donner du pain aux affamés ? Comment ne pas humilier le superbe?
Je décortique les verrous de fer, hé libère les déchus de leur ruine,
j'expulse de la langue l'immondice, les battements de mon coeur dictent les Lois.

Inexorable essaim, autour de mon sceptre tournoient les ancêtres.
Comme un pont sur les tranchées du temps nous avons uni la racine de nos esprits,
bu le sang de bêtes impitoyables, tiré des flèches pour dominer le vent,
sur des têtes coupées élevé des temples, enroulé nos pénis dans du cuir de serpent,
avec un masque d'oiseau et un couteau vert, soumis le règne des morts
Où mon trône peut-il s'élever sinon au centre du firmament?

Entre l'arôme fécond de la cime et l'haleine viscérale de l'abîme,
j'échange les cornes de mon front contre une couronne qui impose l'obéissance.
Sperme où s'unit la folie de l'eau avec l'ardeur du désert,
dans mon oreille interne j'entends le chant de net milles oiseaux blancs.

Cesse de te sentir un fils abandonné, pour t'éveiller accomplis ce qui t'épouvante,
accepte que ton corps soit un rêve, fais du temps un battement du cil,
déracine de ta langue les concepts, transforme ton nom en brasier,
n'offre pas de résistance à l'abandon, demande au vent qu'il efface ta mémoire,
renonce à marquer un territoire, transforme les frontières en corde d'arc,
agit comme un complice du cosmos, déguisé en mouton entre dans la gueule du loup,
avec l'obstination d'un roc, persévère.  Un jour, jetant des flammes comme un soleil de chair, tu te changeras en Sa personne.
Tu seras alors le seul propriétaire de toi-même.

Ecovillage.. in the name of ?

The revolution is happening.
Well, it has the potential of happening.
And I feel a bit scared.

I am facing an opportunity to step into what I have been professing to be my dream!  (Careful what you wish for, hehe).  Less than two months after my return to the native land, and I have already found and met a group of people who speak the language of permaculture, who share visions of organizing into ecovillages.  They speak the language of permaculture and they agree that it is essential that we begin to learn, how to grow our food, and how to grow... socially, together.
I've been thinking about socio-political organization for at least ten years now.  I've been talking about egalitarianism, and community-living for almost as long.  Yesterday, as I sat in the living room of a fellow visionary and discussed the potential of the ''Institut de desurbanisation'', I gradually came to feel the significance of my conclusions.

The idea would be to live communally, in the city, while preparing for a transition to the ecovillage.  We'd be learning several skills to regain some autonomy, like sewing, knitting, canning, brewing, fixing and renovating the house, etc.  That's exactly what I've been ranting about for the past six months!
But the thought of actually doing it: living and working together, makes me a bit dizzy.  Have I grown to comfortable in my individualistic modern ego?
The truth is, I don't know these people as well as I know the friends I have had over the past fifteen years.  With my old friends I have sweated and fought (most of us played soccer together), won and lost, cried and laughed.  We have witnessed and supported each other through idyllic and horrendous love stories, through break-ups, confusions, joy and dreams... We have been through so many changes together...
Now there is a brand new group of people I could be moving forward with.  We could be entering a new phase of change together.  We could create change!
But we don't know each other yet.
And is that even what scares me the most?

Or is it the thought of eventually leaving the city?  No more world-music parties, no more impromptu meeting at the pub for a drink, no more sitting in a café with my laptop, no more dance classes, no more théâtre, no more daily multiculturalism.
Do I want to retreat from all of that?

In the name of energetic autonomy, in the name of food security, in the name of building an example of what could be...

In the name of every human being who is being oppressed, beaten, starved, raped, and forgotten... just because they live on a land where natural resources are being extracted...  In the name of voluntary simplicity... of anti-consummerism... In the name of indigenous people in Northern Canada, who are watching their last frontier getting drilled and destroyed by the oil industry...
In the name of fresh water and the hundred of animal species who have gone extinct over the last fifty years... In the name of heavenly Pacific islands, which are now slowly sinking under raising levels of ocean waters... In the name of ghettoized populations being plagued with pollution emanating from irresponsible industries and the spread of landfills (it's called 'environmental racism, look it up)...
In the name of my Cuban, Mexican, and Salvadorean amigos, of Palestinians and Israelites, of Syrians, Russians, Tibetans... in the name of my neighbors in Hochelaga-Maisonneuve... In the name of PEACE, in the name of Love for this planet and all the wonders it has gifted us with...

In the name of Life, simply.
Out of fear that we'll end up blowing each other up for fear of scarcity?

I am trying to re-trace the line of thought that brought me here today.

In the course of my political, environmental and philosophical studies I have come to consider most wars and injustice as symptoms of deep-seated unconscious fears (that stem from the illusion of separation).  Fear of lacking.  And from that fear, the sprouting of greed, lies, violence.
Peace doesn't mean the absence of struggle or dialectic.  But it does mean the end of violence.

In the course of my study I have come to value egalitarianism as an ideal to strive for, if we are to develop a sustainable peace.  And I have come to value wildness as the necessary source for creativity to keep flowing.

I'd like to eat food that is wholesome.  I'd like not to depend on the industry for my sustenance.  I'd like solar and wind power to replace the nuclear.
We're not mature enough, as a species, to make use of such powerful a tool.
We must learn how to live together.

''Managing'' Change

These past few days have been filled with deep and intense conversations.  Those are the times I feel the most alive and happy... in that scorpion realm, that deep near-taboo realm... underneath the masks and the daily habits of barely functioning.  It makes me sad when it's not acknowledged, it makes me feel alienated.
But lately, I've connected with a lot of wonderful people, around real philosophical topics: hopes, challenges, fear of regrets, aspirations, and dreams...
It's good to be vulnerable together.
It makes us stronger.

I meet people who have dreams in their heart, goals on the line, pasts to come to terms with.  As I stand at the crossroad, as one without a job or a place to call home, I feel that I can offer a mirror for all kinds of transitory states.  You are safe with me.

Interestingly enough...

There is a phrase I had never heard before, and which I heard twice in the span of one week: ''la gestion du changement'' (the management of change).  It is apparently becoming an important professional field.  I thought it sounded like a hubristic and absurd concept; How do you expect to manage change?  How dare you suppose you could control the situation?
But then I realized that managing doesn't necessarily mean controlling.  And I became curious...

Everything is constantly and perpetually changing, mutating, evolving.  Life is synonym with Change.
It is my belief that many of the challenges humans come to face -individually and collectively - come from our inability to accept the facticity of Change.  We deny, we delay, we resist, we argue, we collapse... We have a hard time accepting that things don't last forever.  They die, and new ones emerge.
Of course, it's not easy to say goodbye to what we knew, to what we'd come to feel comfortable within, and to take a step toward the unknown.  It's scary as hell, and it's certainly disorienting.  It can feel quite disempowering.

So how do we say "yes'' to Change?  How do we ''manage''?  How do we adapt?



In the business world, it is said that the creation of efficient communication systems is one of the keys.  I think it is fair to say that we could apply this rule to the sociological in general.  The more information is available and up-to-date, the more people will be able to follow the course of what's going on.  This alone makes us feel safer and more empowered.  An efficient communication system should also allow for the exchange of information.  The best example for all of this is certainly the advent of the internet and the essential role it has played in the globalization era.
I cannot help but wonder about the conundrum of ... let's call it ''verticality versus integrity''.  To what extent must information be organized in order for it to be pertinent, clear and thus efficient?  Should it be chosen, filtered, and distributed from the top down?  Who gets to choose?  Doesn't that sound scary to you?  Doesn't it smell of authoritarianism?
Isn't that what democracy stems from?  Isn't that why we've created ''open source'' systems?
Could the masses handle Change on their own?  Do we have the capacity to discern the information that's relevant, and to mobilize on our own?
I think of Egypt, I think of the comfort that comes with centralization.  I think of the challenges to decentralization... And I wonder...

And how does this all translate to the personal level?  What does an ''efficient communication system'' mean, when we speak of an individual dealing with change.  One can deny, postpone, or rebel against the reality of it, but Change is.  Failure to acknowledge and say ''yes'' can only lead to more suffering.
So how to ''manage''?  I don't have the answer, but I am tempted to draw parallels... macro to micro.  What are the different ''departments'', (or ''centers'') at work in the organization of a human being?  The body, the mind, the heart, the spirit...  Different people will have different ideas on this subject..
(What's yours, dear reader?)
Can we create open information systems between those different ruling centers, so that each may communicates its needs, its fears, its desires, its wisdom?
I think we can.  I think we need to talk about those things.  I think we need to take the time.

Increasingly, a lot of changes are upsetting our planet, our so-called nations, our geopolitical structures... as well as our careers, our love-life, etc.  How do we manage?   

Change triggers emotions.  It is fear which often lurks behind what we like to think of as rationality.  This is what experts in ''change management'' are beginning to talk about, as they are touring all the big companies.

I wonder if they suggest the creation of forums where people can address their fears and emotions.  I wonder if we can come to a point where we find safety and courage in the knowledge that we are all in this together.

We are all in this together.