I browsed through a few more job offers, reworked a few résumé to fit the profiles, worked on those cover letters that are supposed to make them impatient to meet me.
People ask me: '' What kind of job are you looking for ?'' I tell them I am open, as long as it is inspiring. You see, I'm not interested in working at Tim Hortons'. I'm not going to spend my days like an automaton, just to make ends meet. I want to care. I want to grow. I want to feel connected.
So these jobs I am applying generally have requirements that are a bit above what my experience is. But I KNOW, they are not above my competency.
Here I am, in that infamous qualification ''ditch'', trying to show that I can climb and fulfill whatever functions these people need fulfilled, trying not to slip to the bottom and lose faith.
It's been less than I week since I moved here, I suppose. I am trying to be patient. The old wise woman inside knows it's only a matter of time until I get to shine my little light and take part in some super duper progressive creative community endeavor. But for now, it's lonely as hell.
I haven't gone dancing in over what... two months? My foot won't allow me. The tendon connecting to my heel has a little tear (happened exactly a week before I left home in San Francisco. Talk about body-mind!) and it wants me to stay in place and be with my emotions instead of going out and dancing them off. It's hard. I want to move, get my heart rate up, sweat and shake and feel free... but I can't.
I'm back on OkCupid. I figured it'd be a good way to meet other queer people.
I miss home. I miss the sunshine. I miss creating with Harvey.
But this is not meant to sound down in the dumps or anything. It's just that it's been snowing all day. And I long to share my energy with others.
I have some ''meetings'' lined up for the next few weeks. I found a group of people who are wanting to start a sustainable-living-community-land-ecovillage-project-thing somewhere. I'm planning on joining the first meeting next week. I'm also meeting a professor from the Drama Therapy program next week, just to learn about what the scene is around here. Tomorrow, I'm going to some introductory meeting for a ''young entrepreneur in social economy'' formation. And saturday, there's an open house at a dance studio. Don't know if I can dance quite yet, but please foot, let me try out that physical theater class! Oh, and hopefully, I'll get some calls for interviews soon...
It's cool not to be working, actually. It means lots of free time. Besides, I got a bit of a cushion still. I can handle it. It gives me time to explore the city. (I went to a lecture on Mohawk history yesterday, at the McClure museum near McGill university.) It's just that it ain't that much fun when thermometers show minus twenty (celsius) outside, and you got a sore heel with all the fear (of a chronic injury) it brings..
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