One

red band, a photo by egevad on Flickr.

I am immersed in a Mysterious Sea. It's a sea of dreams, where my consciousness is at best liminal. I'm reclaiming my power as a witch, as an intuitive person, as a two-spirit maybe. I am affirming my spirituality to myself, and my desire to live in a world deemed sacred. I am a clown, a leader, a priestess. I am shaman.
Not that I feel ready to be as powerful as I can be. There is so much to learn, remember, and integrate still. But I want to say it out loud: I do feel the sacred Well inside of me.

I have been gently but surely falling in love with Butoh. Japanese and universal, it is a form that seeks to reveal and explore the signification of the body in its relationships to the Earth and to the social self.
"The body is deconstructed to reveal the universal self and expose our primal roots through heightening the elemental or nature body after which the self is recreated in a revitalized journey of individuation."
I want to take that path so bad. I want to shed my body of the ideas I have of it. I want to exist in that seamlessness where Earth lives through me. How archetypal! Wanting to be one with the Mother again... well why not? There is something phenomenal with this movement. It is perhaps a feminist venture; though please gentlemen, do join the movement! It's for all of us to develop an awareness of the ways in which we are Earth and Sky, and breath and bones, bodies and consciousness.
I think Nietzsche would be delighted.
I want so bad to take that path. Yet there is a distance between my understanding and my standing under; I fear my body's limitations. I fear the pain of having taken so many stifling habits throughout my developmental years. You see I had to be strong and build that armor. I had to keep myself together.

Now I see myself wanting to open up like a flower. Would it be so ephemeral, so vulnerable? I want to open up from my core (mon coeur) and transmit the light (delight) that I sense swirling inside of me. I want to be a channel. I am immersed in a mysterious sacred Sea.