La fin d'un Monde

C'est la veille de la fin du monde et je me sens bien.  J'habite dans un coeur battant.
Un nouveau monde commence demain.  À travers les tueries, la souffrance, les guerres, l'esclavage... en chute libre au creux d'un futur qu'on dit ne pas pouvoir connaître d'avance.
Sauf que le problème, c'est que le futur n'existe pas.  Et en même temps, il existe aussi: c'est nous qui le créons.  Le future, le telos, c'est une projection de l'esprit humain.

C'est la veille de la fin d'une histoire.  La veille du solstice de 2012.  Le temps et l'espace s'apprêtent à prendre une nouvelle dimension.

Mon présent est vraiment merveilleux, because I come home to an open heart: a open home.   Parce que c'est pratiquement ''un open house'' ici, for our friends, visitors, family, friends of friends, etc.  We are seven and satellites, a kind of nucleus for nomads particles to find a home, for an instant.
We leave or heart open, so we learn from each other.
Three languages, four including music.  Cooking.  Building.  Sharing.  Growing seeds and sprouts and picking up the excesses from the capitalists' dumpsters.  Trying to live radically: trying to live from our roots.  Though we all come from elsewhere, from another part of the world.

Moi, fille d'ancêtres quelconques, de colons Français immigrant dans un nouveau Pays.  Et je me demande: Qu'elle était leur relation avec ceux qui habitaient sur ces terres?
Ils sont venu s'y établir, les Européens; ils sont chercher des richesses, développer des marchés, puis coloniser, cultiver, et évangéliser... Ils sont venus raconter leurs histoires d'un futur meilleur...

Meilleur que quoi?  Meilleur pour qui?

Eux qui perdirent leurs mythologies d'éternel retour des choses se mirent éventuellement à adopter de nouveaux mythes... des mythes de: progrès.  Une ouverture est créée.  C'est demain qu'il faut viser.  Demain, il y aura plus, plus de grain, plus de surplus, plus de sécurité ...

Nous avons si peur de la disette, de la pénurie.
Nous avons appris à focaliser un supposé état de manque.
Ceux qui détiennent les moyens d'exploitation, de transformation, et de distribution de nos ressources se rient bien de nous voir perdre nos moyens, de travailler comme des imbéciles et de courir contre la montre pendant qu'eux amassent les richesses en évitant de mettre l'épaule à la Roue (de la Vie)...
(Nous produisons beaucoup désormais.  Il y en aurait surement pour tout le monde.)

Au fond,
La Vie et la Mort son comme le pouls d'un temps infiniment profond.  Nos petits ''je'' ne font que passer dans la grande parade de l'Histoire, et encore plus dans celle du Temps...

Considérons...

- 408 million years ago, the first amphibians ''appear'' on Earth - planet Earth, that is; where we live today - the first insects, and the first spiders from the Silurian period and bring about what we apparently label the ''Devonian period", which is of course part of the Canbraic Era.

Then, 

All through this time the earth was changing. 
In the Triassic period, all the continents were joined together in one huge landmass. Climate was hot and dry but with rain seasons. The first tree ferns and coniferous trees were starting to appear. 

In the Jurassic period the climate changed as the huge continent was breaking up. There were now forests of cycads, conifers and gingko, all plants that still exist today. 

In the Cretaceous period (that's: 144 million years ago), the continents had separated and each had its own flora and fauna. However, Australia and Antarctica were still joined together. There were now flowering plants such as magnolias and waterlilies.

The first cell with a nucleus?  2.100.000.000 years ago.
Homo Erectus: 2, 500, 000 years ago.  

And then, barely two million years later, two MILLION years, homo sapiens emerges and begins to sapiens itself: a new form of self-consciousness develops...

Neolithic humans developed agriculture 8,000 years ago.

Two millennia ago, a Son of Man claimed himself Son of God.  King of a non-Earthly Kingdom, where there would be no wars, no slavery, no injustice.  Jesus was the awaited savior a of people without land, the one who would die and live again to purge the world of its darkness.  The Sun of God, the one who would live and die to bring us Light, just like old god Dionysos. 

Before that, at about 2,500 years ago, it was the son of an aristocratic man from the metropolis of Athens, a man named Plato,who laid the foundation of Western Philosophy and Ethics.  He told us of the man Socrates, who taught citizens how and why to think for themselves...

In this geological perspective, what is 2013?

What is December 21, 2012?
The astronomical calculations of the indigenous people of Mesoamerica.  A long cycle is ending: one Baktun of some 394.26 years, a cycle which is itself but a fraction of a bigger cycle that is also ending...
I heard about special cosmic phenomena that would apparently be taking place, like:

The supposed prediction of an astronomical conjunction of the black hole at the center of the Milky Way galaxy with the winter solstice Sun on December 21, 2012, referred to by Jenkins in Maya Cosmogenesis 2012: The True Meaning of the Maya Calendar End-Date (1998)

Is there really a black hole at the center of the Milky Way !!?

The Milky Way?  Can we really see that far outside of ourselves !?  Historically as well as cosmically, why deny it: we are so small.  Are we thus also insignificant?
Peut-on vraiment voir aussi loin à extérieur de nous-même?  Historiquement et astronomiquement parlant, pourquoi le nier: nous sommes tellement petits.  Mais alors, sommes nous pour autant insignifiants?

Voilà ce que j'en comprends.
Demain, je prendrai le temps d'écouter la souffrance de mes contemporains.  Je sais que je vais aussi ressentir la souffrance de notre Terre Mère, les guerres de nos pères, les peurs de nos frères et soeurs.  Je ressentirai l'Histoire, la pre-Histoire, le Temps Profond.  Je m'émerveillerai aussi certainement avec une dose d'ambivalence et une fascination intarissable, de voir nos constructions, notre architectures, nos organisations, si imparfaites.  Je m'émerveillerai d'être sapiens sapiens, de pouvoir être témoin de tout ça: le temps, l'espace.  Je serai reconnaissante, de pouvoir ressentir un flocon de neige sur ma peau, de pouvoir concevoir et admirer son unicité, son éphémérité...

Apoca-postmod-idiosyncratisme... et Jean Gebser

Just do it.
Write it down.  It doesn't matter if it makes no sense at first.  Eventually, it will.
Because I feel it in my being.
Visions that come from instincts.  Now I want to use conscious projection, now that I have come to see it clearly: The world is made up of psychic projections.  Call it Maya, or the Veil.  And that's what I mean when I say I want to talk about: the Apocalypse.  (Okay I admit, I don't actually say that often. But in my head I do.)  For,

An apocalypse (Ancient Greek: ἀποκάλυψις apocálypsis, from ἀπό and καλύπτω meaning 'un-covering'), translated literally from Greek refers to a revelation of something hidden, although this sense did not enter English until the 14th century.^[1] In religious contexts it is usually a revelation of hidden meaning - hidden from human knowledge in an era dominated by falsehood and misconception.

Isn't it time we lift the Veil of ignorance, together, so as to acknowledge how we've been going down a path of falsehood and lies, which seems to be leading us towards catastrophic times?  Isn't time we dare to recognize the impact of our behaviors?  Modern man has prided himself on the capacity to use logic and lay out the laws of cause and effect.  Modern man has gone too far in wanting to use these sciences in order to control the world, for his own ends.  Modern man doesn't have control...

But do not despair!  For ''post-modernity'' has been formulating responses!  Tadam!  Thanks to Nietzsche, Freud, Jung, Einstein, Derrida, Heisenberg, etc.  (Some womyn in there ??)

If all that is human is projection, if God is finally dead (thank God!) and humanistic morality has showed itself to be but another unsatisfying panacea against the depth of our existential guilt and anxiety,  if relativism today gets thrown around by social and natural scientists alike... what can postmodernism give us?


I have picked up Jean Gebser's book ''The Ever-Present Origin'' again.  I'd started reading it two or three years ago but had lost momentum (this is one thick and dense piece of philosophical work!); today, the timing feels just right...

Structures of consciousness: archaic, magic, mythical, mental... integral.
I won't get into all of this right now, but my idea was to try and put some of the myriad of concepts and intuitions in ''order''.  (How faithful to the mental's obsession with ''dividing and conquering''!)

So as a point of departure, let's sample a few quotes:

It is of fundamental importance that we clearly distinguish between ''irrational'' and ''arational,'' for this distinction lies at the very heart of our deliberations.  Arationality has nothing to do with irrationality; their only connection exists in the fact that a rationality is not possible without irrationality, or far that matter without the pre-rational or the rational.

Wow.  I was just thinking about this recently!! Well, that's what I was coming closer to express, though my thinking was incomplete.  I was pondering the anti-rationalist stance I seem to have gradually adopted over the last decade.  How can I become a CÉGEP philosophy teacher (I'm about to go back to school and get some teaching tools and credentials) when I can also picture myself writing a Ph.D dissertation on the topic of wildness and the necessity to overcome and transcend rational thinking?!  Would that make me a hypocrite?

Gebser says it so well.  It's time we integrate all structures of consciousness.

Furthermore addressing my conundrum and the fear I have about teaching, he writes:

Two difficulties present themselves in these deliberations with which we must contend.  The first is inherent in the demand of any treatise for a sequential presentation, which is necessarily contrary to the simultaneity of an integral mode.

Believe it or not, this actually speaks to what I was telling my mom, just last week!
''I don't know if I can be a good teacher,'' I was admitting to her, ''because I don't consider myself very eloquent when it comes down to conveying the knowledge I'd like to share.''  She said she thought I'd be a great teacher, on the contrary.  ''I don't know.  I feel disillusioned and borderline resentful towards half the curriculum, and whatever I am passionate about, I have such a hard time verbalizing in a clear, concise, and linear fashion!  I feel like a webpage with dozens of hyperlinks: I want to open them all, enter in every concept, explore all angles and all directions so as to really get the whole picture!''

My mother laughed.  I felt that she understood and it felt good.

No doubt I could keep this blog entry unfold to great lengths.  I mean, I didn't even get to explore my first idea in sitting down to write a blog today!  I wanted to reflect a bit on Gebser, but I also wanted to explore the intuition I've been having, that my addiction to food (it's so intense these days!! Compulsion galore!) could have something to do with the shift we-I are going through.

Making loose parallels between the fast burning, highly concentrated energy which is characteristics of fossil-fuels consumption (along with their long-term consequences), and the energy resources I am fueling my own body with: carbohydrates and simple sugars.  Isn't there a parallel there?

Immediate gratification versus health.  Why can't I stop reaching for breads and sugars, when I am perfectly well aware that it is not good for me?!  I call this an addiction.

The good thing about this is that I get to belong and remain part of the collective.  (Belonging is a vital and primary need.)  Observing my addictive behavior fills me with empathy for all the addictive behaviors everyone is grappling with.
The ecological crisis is a question of addiction.

Oh! There's got to be a thread linking the contents of this entry... the apocalypse, postmodernism, Jean Gebser's genius work, and my idiosyncratic challenges and ways of making sense of them...

The thread?  Consciousness.