The Body Free I Driven: Butoh with Hiroko and Koichi Tamano (Bay Area)

This might be my favorite YouTube video EVER.

It is exactly what I have been hoping and craving for.

Thank you Hiroko and Koichi. Thank you very much to the film makers. This is gorgeous.

Ave matrix

It is hard when days awake heavy like this. I try to understand the reasons behind my depressed feeling while at the same time I know that it will pass, like everything else.
I feel guilty when I get depressed. My life is one of privilege, and that's why I want so much to give back. Where does it come from, this sense of ... duty? And how do I find out what it is that I am best suited to offer?

AND... what is it good for?

The world seems so desperately decadent and decaying. Governments and soulless busy-ness leaders are shamelessly raping Mother Earth, while lying and stealing from the masses. Threads of narratives and varying information are thrown at us from all directions so we all get tangled up and overwhelmed and ultimately lost in translation: what is real? Facing chards of truths we continue, all too human, as if the familiar made for our principal area of safety. For better or worst, until death do us apart: we're all in this together.

Fuck! It doesn't take a Ph.D to check in within one self and know, in our guts, that the oil industry is evil. But what can we do?
I feel so fuckin' powerless.

They say knowledge is power but I'm not so sure. We know well that our fruits and vegetables gets sprayed with pesticides which generate cancer and pollute our waters, we know our food travels by gas-guzzling trucks from hundreds of kilometers away. We know chickens, pigs and cows get tortured by underpaid workers before their flesh gets nicely packed for the supermarkets. We have pictures of shale gas mines and we've walked on the latest trash continent that was formed in the Pacific ocean. We know sea creatures are suffering from pollution and we can see glaciers melt with a naked eye now.

How is knowing all of this empowering?

I know there's a seed in the rage and anger we feel. But how are we to act? Why aren't we doing anything? Many are trying. Many are doing many positive things and working real hard to create the world they envision. I bet their vision holds many of the same elements as mine; it all begins with respect and it does not involve a choice between fourteen different sorts of toothpaste...

There are times when I see more clearly what it is that I want to contribute. There are times when I have more faith in the fertility of my insights. Today I am restless and I wish I could just go for a swim in the river so I'd feel like a little girl for a moment just long enough for my mind to relax and or my creativity to flow...

But I'm afraid there are too many chemicals running in its waters...
So I'll just make space for my anger and sadness to overflow a bit. And I am sending prayers along, grateful for the web and the way it virtually listens to me when I need it.